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03 November 2017 @ 06:36 pm
Does an under bust corset, when you are wearing it, make shoulders wider?  
I completed my first mock up a little while ago. I made it pretty sturdy so it can be worn at least a few times.
Someone here advised me to test drive my mock up to feel first hand what I want from the corset and what I am looking for in a corset. This was good advice.

My mock up is very short above the waist, it ends halfway between waist and bra band. I chose that design because I thought it would increase mobility (and it does) but I mistakenly thought it would look equally good on me as it does on a very slim 50's model.
Another reason I wanted a corset that didn't end up underbust was because I feared the apparent widening of the shoulders I had seen with some (not all) commercial underbust corsets I had tried on.

And I want to talk about that a little, since I think there should be a way around that.
Has anyone else experienced seeing their shoulders being pushed up and out (sideways) when wearing an underbust corset?

Is this caused by certain corsets squeezing back muscles and/or shoulderblades up?
If so, because I don't see edwardian photographs sporting women with pushed up shoulders, could this be remedied by allowing more room at the top of the corset to avoid squeezing things up and out?
 
 
 
GeminiWenchgeminiwench on November 3rd, 2017 06:17 pm (UTC)
I think it depends on your build, and the corset.

Most corsets where any serious waist cinching is going on, is going to straight your back and improve your posture. When you are used to slumped shoulders and hunched backs you might forget how truly wide our shoulders ARE when our ribcage is erect, and our bust is being carried straight out front.

Also, if you are of a bigger build, or have a big chest, overbust corsets ADD bulk to the top that is being squeezed from your waist cinching.

There are PLENTY of pictures of larger women in victorian clothes, and they DO NOT look like the models. (sorta like today?)
Just google Queen Victoria and see how Victorian corsets looked on her body/build. Most women aren't models. Even corseted women.
Yvonne De RooijYvonne De Rooij on November 4th, 2017 01:59 am (UTC)
I have a wide ribcage, breasts that are a little large for my frame, I carry a little bit more muscle naturally than other women my height and weight, and I have very straight (almost horizontal) shoulders when relaxed. I have pretty good posture these last few years.
I'm also on the chubby side, currently just under the upper limit of healthy weight.
I've tried some underbusts, all at a 5-7cm reduction at the waist, but none made to measure, that made the shoulders much wider (made me look like I was slightly shrugging my shoulders up, and ready to punch someone), and some that didn't and I don't know why/how they are different.

I googled pictures of queen victoria, in some she has really sloped shoulders, and in some they are straight.

I could try and make a mock up of a true underbust corset and leave more room in the back and hope that fixes the shoulder thing, but that's just guesswork right now.
I wish someone with the same experience and who knows what to do differently to fix it will appear.

Googling "queen victoria corset" (not that I thought I would see her in her corset) resulted in a lot of pictures of women with very straight shoulders and whose waists were reduced a lot by corsetry or the photographs were altered to make the reduction seem even larger.
But I don't see the same hunched up/shrugged up shoulder look in them, perhaps because they were raised in corsets or I am dealing with a fitting issue with the corsets I tried.
I don't have them anymore so I can't measure their differences.
GeminiWenchgeminiwench on November 6th, 2017 06:46 pm (UTC)
Just imagine that most women have less broad, less straight shoulders than you... and yet in corsets, most of them have broad, set shoulders.

When you already have broad, set shoulders... the tightening of the ribcage and lifting of the shoulder blades may create an exaggerated shoulder line on you.

But also there are SO MANY STYLES of corset to try!
Yvonne De RooijYvonne De Rooij on November 6th, 2017 09:45 pm (UTC)
Do you know any styles that would produce less broad shoulders?
The underbusts that gave the shoulder effect and the ones that didn't were all simple underbusts with straight panels like this; https://draculaclothing.com/media/catalog/product/b/l/black-cotton-underbust-corset.jpg
GeminiWenchgeminiwench on November 6th, 2017 11:04 pm (UTC)
Most off-the-rack corsets are built for (what I consider to be) a long waisted body, since that is what is a popular shape right now. However, if you have a shorter waist, this might not be very comfortable or might be causing your shoulders to bunch.

Like the difference between this shape, and the shape of the corset you posted.

http://restyle.pl/eng_pl_-CU10-Black-Brocade-Underbust-gothic-corset-hourglass-shape-sturdy-1533_5.jpg
Yvonne De RooijYvonne De Rooij on November 22nd, 2017 12:18 am (UTC)
Oh wow, that is quite different. I'll take that into account when I am making another corset.
Thank you for thinking along :)
GeminiWenchgeminiwench on November 22nd, 2017 05:27 pm (UTC)
I'm short-waisted myself and am surprised I didn't think of it earlier as a possible cause of your problem.

Hope you find/make JUST the right corset for YOU!
Yvonne De RooijYvonne De Rooij on November 25th, 2017 04:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you, that's really kind of you :)

I am pretty short waisted, and just short in general.

I will make a mock up for a true underbust corset in the new year. The first mock up (which is actually as strong as a finished corset, it just needs bias binding at the top and bottom) I made with the duct tape method and I am absolutely over the moon with the fit. It fits like a glove, a very comfortable glove.
Much better than the custom size corsets I have that were made for me, of course I understand making your own you can take as long as you like over the patterning phase and businesses can't use the duct tape method.
The most expensive custom corset I have, which is pretty basic in design and fabric and an underwear corset, cost me 450 euro and at the time I thought it was the best I could ever have.
Comparing it with my "mock up" the custom one loses out on fit. It wasn't until I had a better fitting corset that I started noticing the flaws of the expensive custom one.

When I make a true underbust and encounter the broader shoulder problem again, and somehow remedy it I will definitely make a post on corsetmakers again.
GeminiWenchgeminiwench on November 27th, 2017 07:34 pm (UTC)
I've made 3 corsets for myself and 1 for another person.
I'm not even closet to making my perfect corset yet, but it's such a long and tedious process I end up having to start at square one each time I start it feels like.
But, it's fun, and my own corsets are NOT perfect, but they're still so much better than anything I've bought off the rack.
I always drooled over custom corsets, but couldn't convince myself to pay for one!
Yvonne De RooijYvonne De Rooij on December 1st, 2017 12:11 am (UTC)
You're not wrong, 450 euro is a lot of money for what is basically a piece of clothing.
I was able to save for it because I am very frugal with things I am not passionate about.

And I bought it because I thought I would get a lot of wear out of it, which sadly wasn't the case.

I'll have to start from scratch too, have to duct tape all over again if only for the length of the corset. I've lost a bit of weight since last time so the pattern will look different too.
GeminiWenchgeminiwench on December 1st, 2017 05:30 pm (UTC)
I like the duct tape method and I used it to make the corset for a friend who was in Alaska (made her wedding dress and corset).

It's a shame your custom corset didn't get worn all the time like you'd hoped. My big purchase was custom made combat boots ($500 US, took like 6 months!!) but they turned out to be DUDS. I need them remade (another $150) before I can even wear them. I'm so bitter about it, I've probably spent $150 on buying random boots/shoes trying to finally get "what I want" in the retail market, instead of remaking the boots.

Good luck!!
Yvonne De RooijYvonne De Rooij on December 4th, 2017 05:02 pm (UTC)
I feel your pain. I had such a thing happen with custom roller derby skates which cost me 500 euro, which turned out to fit not great. In the end I just gave up, I got some skating time out of them but the local group here went downhill so I called it quits and started doing something else.

I have difficult to fit feet and I have considered many times to learn how to make shoes on my own. Getting the materials is the biggest hurdle I come across though.
I do have a book that I can recommend that walks you through the whole process, and there is a good reddit group on shoemaking.

I've worn style killing orthopedics for years and finally decided that enough was enough. I found an online store that has shoes in several different widths, and anytime something stylish comes up in my width I quickly order.
I have so much catching up to do with shoes.

Spending lots of money on things that turn out to be duds hurt a lot, if I am feeling bitter about it I always remind myself of my ex who was thousands of dollars in debt because he bought too many transformers (yes, the cartoon) collectibles on ebay.
At least we are not that guy.
GeminiWenchgeminiwench on December 4th, 2017 05:22 pm (UTC)
You?
I like you!
The ex with his transformers? We can ALL be grateful we're not him... and also be optimistic that people like him still get laid even though they are obviously inadequate partners in many respects..... there is literally hope for EVERYBODY.

(Spoiler alert: I *absolutely* collect toys and play with them ALL THE time. However, going into debt for toys is a whole other ballpark.... I tell myself!)

I WOULD like that shoemaking book, actually! My sister-in-law has been looking for good shoemaking books for awhile because she'd rather be a cobbler than wear ill-fitting shoes, and she's had trouble finding good books on the subject. And reddit for shoemaking, too? Oh... the internet is so hilariously convenient and strange.

I have wide feet, wide calves... I'm hooked on Torrid boots/shoes now that I see they most of their 'normal' width shoes are E or EE width, and their boot calves are wide normally, and come in extra wide (which are too wide for me) so.. that's nice.
Yvonne De RooijYvonne De Rooij on December 7th, 2017 01:39 am (UTC)
The shoemaking book is this one; http://www.shoemakingbook.com/ "Bespoke Shoemaking, A Comprehensive Guide to Handmade Footwear" not cheap but cheaper than a shoemaking workshop where you can't still make shoes on your own afterwards.
I was seriously considering a shoemaking workshop or course but they start at 500 euro here, and I have emailed them to ask if I would be proficient enough to make my own shoes when the course is done and they said no.

About the reddit, there are two of them.
There's one more geared towards people who are just starting out
https://www.reddit.com/r/shoemaking/
And there's one that seems a little more professional
https://www.reddit.com/r/Cordwaining/

You can also watch shoes being made by hand on youtube, but they are usually without explanation (text or audio) so you still need some knowledge of the process to understand everything.

I'm also a collector, of certain books that is. Earlier this year when Gothic & Lolita Bible announced they were going out of print I panicked, cried (because it felt like the end of an era, not that I still dress in those fashions though) and ordered the last 5 or so books I needed to complete the collection.
Wasn't cheap but I always have some money kept separate for stuff like that.

I just ordered the last book that was written by Terry Pratchett in the Discworld series, he passed away in 2015.

I go through phases where I get into a new hobby, spend some money on it and then dial it down or stop it completely.

I have bought fermenting pots when I was into making kimchi (do I sound like a hippie yet :p). I haven't made kimchi in a few years now, I was the only one eating it and I couldn't eat it fast enough to get through it all before it became as sour as a lemon.
The minimum amount of kimchi you make is usually at least one cabbage worth of it.
Also my mom complained about me smelling like garlic, which is something you can't avoid even if you brush your teeth 3 times a day and shower twice daily.
I've been contemplating using the fermenting pots to make sauerkraut, at least I won't be the only one eating it.

I have bought powders and gels for doing your own nails but then after learning how to do them and wearing them for a few months realized that I am not a fancy nail girl after all (they always get in the way).
I had a bit of a skin care craze end of last year all through this summer when I started to actually care about my skin, read up on ingredients (so many expensive products that don't actually do anything that a 3 dollar cream can't, it's ridiculous how a lot of these brands get away with what is basically misleading people), bought a lot of things to try and now that I have learned what I'm looking for and what I have to look out for my spending on skin care has gotten way down.

And now lately I have bought a lot of shoes to catch up, when I started seriously looking into wider shoes I felt like I was cheating on my orthopedic shoemaker.
But I didn't even have formal shoes, the orthopedic ones never turned out to look decent when I tried them in a formal style. Way too clunky looking.

I've bought my own cheese press just so I could make rectangular shaped paneer.
Totally random :)

To afford my weird hobby phases next to my old time hobby of sewing I'm extra frugal with everything else.
Most of my casual clothes are second hand, when I lost weight and still had some clothes with some wear in them left I just took them in, I don't have a tv, no gym membership, no car (but this is not weird in the netherlands, nearly everything is close by, high population density),
I don't smoke, drink or go out to bars, the theater or to amusement parks. I avoid going out to eat or ordering in, I prefer to cook and if the friends ask me to go out to eat I have asked them in the last year if it was possible to do a dinnerparty instead.
Those always have my preference, a lot of people in our group are good at cooking and it's way cheaper (and more enjoyable) to cook and eat at one of our places.
If we had good interesting restaurants nearby it would be different, but we don't.
GeminiWenchgeminiwench on December 7th, 2017 06:14 pm (UTC)
Oooh, I LIKE YOU!
I think we'd get along famously, and I WANT SOME OF YOUR PANEER!
Mmmmmm...paneer.
I've very smiliar with my spending preferences. I'm usually dressed in second-hand clothing, make/alter a lot of my specialty clothes, and avoid places like malls, amusement parks, and movie theatres... (except the little local art house cinema I used to manage). I have pretty much eschewed most of the luxuries most people love. I have a TV, but it is small and lives in a cabinet with a door which I generally use to watch DVDs. I don't watch a lot of live TV (we get three public, non-corporate channels), don't have cable, and generally consider reading and daydreaming to be my main sources of entertainment. I love love LOVE Pratchett books. I haven't read his last one, yet... when an author dies, I end up savoring their work even more, stretching it out because no more is coming. Vonnegut and Bradbury dying were BIG to me and I am sad to think I could ever possibly read their catalog and have nothing new, or undiscovered, left to....discover. I drive, but that is fairly new for me and is a big help now that I live in suburbia. When I lived downtown, it was so easy to not have a car, the 'gym' was just the daily commute by foot/bike/bus to do the necessaries.

Admittedly, I love a beer, and bar socializing (play pool, darts, shuffleboard) and I love going out to dinner, but a dinner party is absolutely even better! My friends and I are all into complex board games, so when someone has a big party that is usually what we do. But the shared home-cooked potluck dinners and lively conversation is always *why* so many of us show up.

I've always been confused by people who go out to a chain restaurant for a "nice" or "special" meal, when there are scads (so many!) fabulous small, local, specialty restaurants in town. Why give your money to a giant company who pay their employees crap and serve reheated frozen food, when you can go to some crazy hole-in-the-wall and have the most amazing, fresh, delicious, meals and everyone who works there (or eats there!) is 'one of the family' for the exact same price?



And you're totally right about the skin care products. So much of the high-end stuff is a heist, and so many use the same fillers and chemicals as the cheap drug-store brands. Although now that I'm in my mid 30s, and I see the difference between my friends who are into skin care... and those that aren't, I kinda see the investment they made being worth it. Turns out I'm not into anything too high-maintenance, even if I like the outcome. My most beautiful-skinned friendly usually makes me a pot of her homemade scrubs, ointments or creams for holidays and birthdays, and that is plenty to get me by. I'm obviously VERY lucky!

How do I 'friend' you, friend? I don't have a BookFace and your username links me to your FB profile. Hmmm....
Yvonne De RooijYvonne De Rooij on December 8th, 2017 06:33 pm (UTC)
You wouldn't miss anything on my Facebook anyway, I don't post much. I got a facebook because my friends insisted, they said it would be easier to see what they were up to.

I don't hang out on other social media or forums either except for the recovery section of myproana(the site name is misleading, it's an eating disorder support site now), I started recovery in 2015.
I added you as a friend on LJ, which means I get an email when you post something on your LJ.
You can also email me at ychderooij@gmail.com about anything.

In the netherlands we don't really have many chain restaurants, and we don't consider kfc/MacD to be restaurants even though they are in a literal sense.
I live in a medium sized city and the majority of the restaurants here offer french/belgian/dutch food. If you want a different cuisine and have it be good you'd have to drive for an hour at least to Rotterdam or Amsterdam and then find you can't park your car :)
Restaurant prices in the netherlands are also one of the highest if not the highest in europe. Our prices are 30 euros for something that would cost you 15-17 euros in belgium or germany (our neighboring countries).
Why I don't know, it could be calvinism.
Anyway, it results in a country where the majority of people make homecooked food 6 days out of 7, and then goes the cafetaria to bring home fries and croquettes for the family on saturday.

I wish we had authentic chinese, korean and indian food around where I live.

You are indeed lucky to have a friend that makes you skin care products.

I keep it simple, I use tretinoin once a week to keep away the pimples and treat rosacea (tretinoin is a vitamin A cream, locally prescription only), use mineral sunscreen when I go out or when harsh sunlight comes in from the windows,
for moisturizer I currently use either ceracolla high moisture lotion (alcohol and fragrance free, only 13 euros for a big bottle from japan, has ceramides and hyaluronic acid, perfect for when my tretinoin use is giving me flakes)
OR Hada Labo shirojyun premium whitening milk (also alcohol and fragrance free, 15 euro for a big bottle from japan, has hyaluronic acid, squalane and tranexamic acid. Doesn't whiten your skin, just reduces hyper pigmentation).
I've got cheap cleansers; 6 euros for the foam wash and about 10-12 for the oil cleanser.
Asian skincare etiquette dictates I should get busy with the essences, scrubs, masks and serums but I just can't. I'm too lazy :)

"I'm just a grown-up kid who still plays with toys. I set them up around the house in (usually) comedic 'scenes'. I am especially tickled when I find totally mundane objects rendered in plastic mini."
I've seen photograps of that sort of thing lately, it's doing well as art pieces. It's very fun to look at and inspect.

Your comment on birthcontrol is spot on. My partner and I don't want children, we're both 33 and I finally feel like I have my life together/am on top of things. He's a bit behind but catching up.
I finally feel like I am "adulting" properly :p
GeminiWenchgeminiwench on December 8th, 2017 08:34 pm (UTC)
I tried out BookFace, lasted maybe 3 years? 4? Not long. Jumped ship from the platform before the primaries in the last US election. No way. Done.

We have a million chain restaurants. A *huge* competition amongst "fast food" which what you describe.. like KFC and McD that is nationwide and have thousands of locations. They don't have thousands of restaurants...they have thousands of "locations", which is a small but common distinction they share.

Franchises are a major kind of business in America.. and restaurant franchises are one of the most popular kind of franchise.

In America you have to live in a very small town not to have a decent Chinese, Mexican, *and/or* Thai restaurant in the area. Ours is a medium-sized isolated city at 125,000 people with no city our size for 300 miles in any direction. We are 92% white, but we have a huge long list of Korean, Chinese, Indian, Vietnamese, Egyptian, Ethiopian restaurants. We have an Air Force base in town, is part of it... but it's actually very affordable to eat out and its really common, especially if you know the right places to go.

Eating in is still cheaper, and I really like cooking. I have lots of good cooks among my friends, too so our parties are amazing feasts every single time. But getting authentic food from different parts of the world is unrepeatable at home unless the cook teaches you specifically. Recipes and cooking is MAGIC.

Yeah, when I was doing it ten years ago and my friends told me to start a blog dedicated to my dioramas, and called it "art" (and I had a following online at the time) I was like, "O you! That'd be fun, but that's pretty silly. I just do it for me."
Later I became a tenant in the house of a local artist (and art professor) and she was showing me her house and showing me her art and she did the same thing I did. Only she glued them together, made it into a permanent set, and put a pricetag on it.

I made a major gaff because of my surprise at that she did the same thing I did, I said, "Oh! That's fun! I do that, too.. but I call them 'jokes'!"

And she negotiated by casual tongue, into thinking I had called HER art, a JOKE... and our relationship was all down hill from there.

I like to ask people what the greatest invention of the 20th century was.
Men tend to say internet.
Women tend to say birth control.

I'm a woman, I ABSOLUTELY say birth control!
Yvonne De RooijYvonne De Rooij on December 9th, 2017 10:47 pm (UTC)
It seems like franchises can't really infiltrate dutch society as much as it has done to the US. Maybe we have legislation protecting small businesses, maybe our country is not big enough. I don't know.
We have burgerking (but not in every city), MacD but only 1 for a medium sized city, KFC, Dominos pizza and that's about the limit of it.

Starbucks has been trying for years to get their stores here, but it's gone only so far that less than a quarter of our cities have one.
Dunkin donuts just opened their first dutch location this year.

There's one piece of news that cracks me up whenever I read it; in 1988 a dutch guy named Raymond Warrens opened up a snack bar in the dutch city of Goes and named it "Wendy's" after his daughter.
In 1995 he bought the name "wendy's" for the area that spreads over the Netherlands, Belgium and Luxembourg.
As a result the american wendy's can't set foot in these countries, just because some snack bar owner bought the rights to the name in that area first.
Wendy's is a big powerful franchise, and Raymond Warrens is (according to the news) just some yokel out in the sticks with 1 snack bar soon to be 2.

I've seen that new york (especially Manhattan) has a franchise of something on every block. Mostly starbucks and MacD.
I don't think that would ever happen in even Amsterdam, much less my medium city.

We have plenty of chinese and indian restaurants, even small towns have at least 2.
But they're the kind of restaurants that serve dutchified versions of chinese and indian food.
And because of our colonial past the chinese food isn't even dutchified chinese food, it's actually dutchified indo-chinese food.
Which is probably why we have a national obsession with peanut sauce.

My city is very multicultural (most medium to big cities in the netherlands are), but that has only given us a lot of doner kebab shops and the fact that snackbars/fry shops are now owned by chinese people. No ethiopian, korean, vietnamese or egyptian food for us.

We have 1 thai and 1 mexican restaurant around here but they're not doing well, they keep going out of business.

There are some websites that have authentic recipes so you can make indian (http://www.vegrecipesofindia.com/), korean (https://www.maangchi.com/), japanese (http://www.japanfoodaddict.com/) and chinese (sorry no link, but plenty to be found especially on youtube) food at home pretty easily.
The only things I probably won't make at home is sushi and deep fried stuff.
The thing with making stuff from another country is that I have to be told every step, so pictures and youtube really help.

Oop, you and that art lady. Sounds like something I might have said.

I am so glad for birth control.
And there is one similar thing to "what is the greatest invention of the 20th century", and it's "what's the worst that could happen when online dating".
The men said "that the lady is heavier than she said/showed online"
The women said "that he kills me".
GeminiWenchgeminiwench on December 11th, 2017 08:49 pm (UTC)
</i>"what's the worst that could happen when online dating".
The men said "that the lady is heavier than she said/showed online"
The women said "that he kills me"</i>

Uh-yeah, that's right there a punch to the gut.

Franchises are a major business model in the US. I think Europe is respectably skeptical, because it is insidious. What I loved about Brooklyn, NY is they have zoning laws against franchises and so all the neighborhood are REALLY diverse.

Most cuisine here is absolutely Americanized. And this is a *very* white city,... even including it being a refugee relocation home, and has an air force base. 92% white.
So... bland, sweet palates reign.
Yvonne De RooijYvonne De Rooij on December 12th, 2017 08:28 pm (UTC)
The white people where you live don't like spicy food?

My partner's mortgage was just approved, he want to celebrate the happy moment which will probably end up in the restaurant, order in or make ourselves question.
I'm probably going to suggest home made japanese curry.
Easy too since you can buy the japanese curry roux in blocks in a variety of spice levels.

It's 8 degrees celsius inside here, and there's something about winter that makes me crave spice.
GeminiWenchgeminiwench on December 12th, 2017 09:26 pm (UTC)
I know plenty of individuals who like spicy, but around here it is very common that people have sensitive stomachs or simply don't like spicy. Even aversions to garlic or onions/bell peppers "spice". I know because I am one of them and I get at least as much commiseration from other Bland people as I get condemnation from the people who like to sweat when they eat, plus a lot of middle-of-the-roaders (medium) most of whom who were older before they liked spicier foods.

When it gets cold, I don't think of food but I do obsess about cozy socks....
hhmmmm....
Yvonne De RooijYvonne De Rooij on December 7th, 2017 01:40 am (UTC)
My current partner (we've been together 6 years) is a nerd who collects figurines and gimmicky toys that he likes, but he's smart enough with money that he doesn't touch the money he needs for necessities like food, rent and healthcare.
He's the kind of person who makes a lot of money but also spends nearly all of it, with only enough savings to replace the refrigerator if needed.
He suffer from what I like to call "short term thinking", because he didn't really think ahead until recently.
He's trying to buy a new house and has had to change his "spend it all" mentality.
It's good seeing him blossom into an adult at the ripe age of 33 :) on his own accord because I wisely don't say anything about finances as long as it doesn't affect me.

I'm not sure how american widths work, the standard width in europe is a G, then one step wider is an H which I can sometimes squeeze my feet into (never comfortably) if they fall on the wide side for H's.
A step wide than H is J (they skip the i) but you won't find any stylish shoes in a J or wider anymore.
J or wider is just granny shoes (but not the nice old-timey formal ones -_-) or therapeutic shoes to fit over bandages/casts.
GeminiWenchgeminiwench on December 7th, 2017 05:41 pm (UTC)
Here the standard instep/width for women's shoes is a B or BB, which is a very narrow shoe although I think sneakers are usually a C.
These systems are so funny and make no sense! I've had orthopedic problems since I was a kid, so... I just assume shoes will be uncomfortable, it seems. Also... can I just say that the American trade agreement with China is so HUGE, and the quality coming in so low that buying basic shoes sucks because all the major stores carry mostly these really cheap shoes (at the same price as sold previously for much higher quality) that degrade pretty much immediately.
But at least, I have the energy to complain about it, and that's important! ;)

I'm just a grown-up kid who still plays with toys. I set them up around the house in (usually) comedic 'scenes'. I am especially tickled when I find totally mundane objects rendered in plastic mini. Phones and folding chairs and dinner trays... that sorta stuff that are the details that really make a scene work.
I like finding action figures of people of color and women dressed/shaped as normal people instead of sex objects. It's something that is fun, but not something I'd go broke for that's for sure!

Sounds like your tact about finances is helping as he discovers for himself what *his* financial goals are.
The fact that we still have a lot of blossoming happening at 33 as we grow up and figure it out just throws my mind into think about how *lucky* we are to live in a time of birth control where if you want to focus on yourself/life/career/partner/etc you can without burdening growing children with the mid-late 20s existential mindfucks as you work through figuring the rest of yourself out. (Maybe that's just me??)

Good luck with EVERYTHING! Period!